I so need to paint
and lose my soul in painting,
the canvas blank
paint leaving a trail.
An awareness of the picture
in my mind that
has no existence outside,
not memories but yet something earlier.
Doorway to forever opens
revealing fleeting happiness
painted forever.
No-one saw me leave I stepped sideways,
leaving behind a moment in my life,
the distant future a certainty.
Real and unreal slid together as one
there but apart somewhere in the distance.
The reflection in the window I couldn't see past it
just out of reach, something unknown.
The window cried for me.
A woman with a tired frail face
stared back at me.
I wonder why she looks so tired
detached on the outside looking in.
Infiniteness of infinity and beyond.
I remember so clearly a walk long ago
with the fresh smell of pine.
Around me
a knot in the pine frame
weeps.